Contentment.

One of my favourite bloggers/Instagrammers, Natalie Freeman of Natalie Creates, stated something in her blog post today:

"Right now, I am … focusing on gratitude & contentment instead of my old friends, wants & jealousy."

That line stopped me in my tracks. 

I've been really wrestling lately with an attempt to feel content. We've been going through some big changes lately in our lives. With Daniel's employment, and my lack thereof. Because I was in school for the past two years, I didn't qualify for maternity benefits after having V. Actually, due to my summer employment, I did qualify: I was just short thirty-seven hours. Less than one full work week, and I would have qualified for a maternity income for thirty-five weeks. How about that? 

I've been struggling heath-wise since V's traumatic birth. Not only did her delivery not go as planned, but it took almost three full months for my body to recover. Those of you that are close to me know the details, but the way that V entered the world was much less than a magical experience. My sweet baby girl was well worth every moment, but I'm not sure how I feel about the possibility of that happening again. 

I am scheduled for surgery on Wednesday to have my gallbladder removed. I've been on an incredibly strict, low fat diet for over two months, and it's been quite trying. Let me tell you how extreme it is: over the weekend, we had lunch at one of our favourite spots. I had a bowl of vegetable soup, and half of a chicken sandwich. I forgot that there was mayo and a slice of cheese on that half sandwich, and that night, I had one of my worst gallbladder attacks that I've had yet. I never had a problem with my gallbladder until a couple of months ago, but since it's started, I've had a dozen attacks. It's enough to drive me mad. (The bonus? I've been losing weight at a wonderfully steady weight. I'm at the lowest I've been in about a decade. Yahoo!)

So gratitude and contentment? Yes, I'm struggling. I've shared a few reasons that I'm comfortable posting here, but of course, that isn't the extent of it. Knowing that God has a plan for my life and knowing what that plan is is two entirely different things. I feel as though I've had a lot of learning experiences lately that I haven't discovered yet what I'm supposed to learn. I've been taking pleasure in the little things… and it's all about the little things. 

I have a yummy new recipe that's cooking away in my slow cooker for supper, and I managed to almost entirely empty out of fridge before we went for groceries yesterday evening. Doesn't that give you a healthy dose of satisfaction? I also purchased a couple of large totes so I can store V's clothing that's too big in the basement, so today I've been tackling that. The cooler weather has me itching to nest, and I know that I'm not alone. A sweet friend and I were chatting about it yesterday. 

There's a local exhibition tomorrow that we're hoping to attend. It takes place in the same town that my brother's living in, so I'm hoping to sneak in a visit with him as well. V's dying to see her uncle, I can just tell :) 

Food for thought:

Do you have any favourite verses that you turn to during trying times?

What's a little thing that you've been enjoying lately?

Do share!

Happy Long Weekend!