Here's a few thoughts from this weekend:
Yesterday we drove my dad to the airport.
His first time flying - besides a little private plane. He is going for six weeks - a new job in Labrador since there were big layoffs at his work two weeks ago. I'm so glad that Mom has my two little (big!) brothers at home to help with everything. They managed to get the winter's wood finished this month, along with finishing the basement renovations before Dad left. My cousin has volunteered to get the tires changed on their vehicles before we start getting overwhelmed with winter weather. I'm so proud of Dad for going on a new adventure - as much as I'm going to miss him, we're so thankful for the fact that he found work so soon after getting laid off.
Sometimes I'm tired of being lonely and living in an area where I don't have any close friends. Sometimes I am tired of working a full-time job - as I write this from work, wishing that I was at remembrance meeting right now, surrounded by love, worshiping our Lord together. Sometimes I crave change, and sometimes I hate change. Sometimes I really, really don't like blogging.
I sometimes struggle with writing this blog. Not only writing it and trying to decide what to write - what's too personal and what I actually feel like sharing with random strangers or people that I do know. There are obviously a lot of readers that are lurkers - which I'm okay with - hey, I do it myself: read without commenting. I've thought about making my blog password protected, but then I thought better of it. It's not the random strangers reading that bothers me, it's the people that I do know reading it without letting on that they are. A little too into my business if they don't feel like ever commenting.
I have serious cases of blog envy sometimes, and in turn, just plain cases of envy. Feelings of my blog not being spiritual enough - of me not being spiritual enough. My blog not being crafty enough - me not being crafty enough. My blog not being healthy or fit enough - me not being healthy or fit enough. My photos, writing, and posts not being good enough... You get the drift.
There. Was that personal enough? :)
I started this blog because I felt that it would be fun, and it is fun. Sometimes is just drags me down. I feel like a failure if I don't write five posts a week - or if I just do a quick little post - or if my readers are down for the day - or if I don't have any comments. Then I realize, the blogs (besides my lovely friends' blogs) that I like the most are written by people that have a blog for a living. Or they are a stay-at-home mom, or a self-employed business lady, and their blogs are their beautiful creative outlets and really, a piece of art in themselves. So no, after I get home from work there isn't great natural lighting left to take blog worthy photos, but that's okay. If I share a random Bible verse that I'm enjoying every month instead of sharing one every single day, that's okay. If I share a DIY that isn't my own brilliant idea, that's okay. If I share my weight loss and health pitfalls instead of triumphs, that's okay, too. This is my blog that is sometimes but not always, a peek into my life.
You're welcome to share my blog with me - and keep coming back for more.